Things you should know...

Born to indifferent parents with a plastic spoon in my mouth, I spent a great deal of my childhood being reminded that there is a time and a place.  I somewhat reluctantly graduated from a proper four-year university with honors that were almost certainly misplaced.  After pursuing my interest in guarding the crosswalk, I found myself no longer welcome within the county.  This has forced me to pursue other careers. I have settled on copywriting, but hope one day to be able to return to where I am needed most - the crosswalk.

I have spent the last few years writing, acting and producing sketch comedy and performing stand up.  When I was not watching, performing or reading about comedy, I was a real-life accountant.  I do not have a gluten allergy and fully expect a lightly attended funeral.